30: Alfalfa

Green Light ----------- They say the grass is always greener on the other side. And, while this is certainly true, what they tend not to say is that it’s largely due to the application of a certain blood, fish and bone meal fertiliser. This mixture of pulverised beef bones, fish emulsion, and dried and powdered blood - all by-products of a thriving meat-processing industry - is rich in nitrogen, promoting a healthy green foliage, and slow-release phosphate, which encourages strong root growth and builds excellent resilience to the climatic vagaries and temperature fluctuations of the early spring months; inevitable vicissitudes, whichever side you’re on. But we don't grind up animals for our grass on this side. For a while we experimented with alfalfa meal and then a fermented nettle tea, but these were no match for the nutrients that could be extracted from the detritus of slaughtered livestock carcasses, and we soon concluded the meagre benefits of a grass greener than brown-green were not worth the effort of this feeding regime. And nobody really complains, as they amble over our sparse and patchy grounds, mottled with brittle flecks of brushy vegetation... and as a they lounge of an afternoon at the edges of the territory, and crane their necks to get a glimpse of the others on the other side, strolling, hand in hand, pacing barefoot along their lush green fields... nobody really complains because they know that beneath their feet, the carnivorous herb owes its verdancy to the industrialised massacre of thousands and thousands of animals. And the bovine number among these - fair to say a large majority - are never permitted to graze on pastures so lush. No. Invariably they graze on patchy grounds, mottled with brittle flecks of brushy vegetation. Yes the rearing of livestock has always been a proud and protected tradition on this side - do you think the grasslands of the other side would be in quite so idyllic a condition if they surrendered it to cattle, goat, sheep, yak, oxen, bison, llama, horse, water buffalo, normal buffalo, reindeer, rabbit, elk, guinea pig, gazelle, giraffe, antelope, or to the free grazing of any other species of ruminant livestock ...? No. They used to say, the grass is ‘sometimes’, or the grass is ‘often’, or ‘occasionally’ greener, on the other side. But, as you’ll be aware, the other side baulks at the very suggestion of inconsistency, and so they ramped up the production of fertiliser to such a degree that demand for meat-processing by-products outstripped supply, and so the production of meat itself was ramped up, until the supply of the latter outstripped demand, causing a spiralling deflation in the price of meat, to the extent that the demand for carnivores outstripped supply, and so the old tunnels were re-opened, agitators and propagandists reactivated and, for the first time since the fence went up, green light was given to special covert operations to traffic thousands of defectors to the other side, in trucks, packed among the livestock. The Cowboy Code [lyrics] ------------------------ Damsels, we see damsels, polite their eyes. Damsels, we see damsels, the twist of fate lies, in Damsels' eyes. Channels -------- When the runoff channels in the slaughterhouse and processing complex need re-routing, due to an expansion of the cold storage or a move of the administrative buildings, which has happened but only twice, a specialist is called in to divert the outflow. The company is called WasteStream Solutions and is based in Basildon. Depending on the work required, they arrive with their tubes and their fillers and Xavier Clurle, the Stream Master and will set about plugging some channels, opening others, and where none exists, bore them into existence with a 2400W rotary concrete saw ... The Cowboy Exits [lyrics] ------------------------- Send me out in a paper bag. I'll be floating on home when the wind it blows, and I'll never know what I've had. But love, you know I'd do it again.